Make Space to Play

Perel observes that many couples put all their energy into kids, work, and chores, and give the relationship whatever is left over. Fun and playfulness get scheduled last, if at all. Yet curiosity, novelty, and play are a big part of what keeps desire alive. That doesn't have to mean expensive dates. It can mean trying something new together, being a little silly, flirting, or protecting time that's just for the two of you and not about logistics. Talking about the kids or the bills doesn't count as connection time. One idea is a weekly 'no logistics' hour: no schedules, no kids' problems, no money talk. Take a walk, try a new recipe, play a game, or go somewhere neither of you has been. The point isn't the activity. It's seeing each other as people again, not just co-managers of a household.

Source: Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity (2006)

Paraphrased in our own words. Not affiliated with or endorsed by Esther Perel. Not a substitute for counseling.

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